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Demystify Law of Assumption: Your Faith is Your Fortune

Neville Goddard

I stumbled onto Neville Goddard’s content and was immediately hooked but also found it rather confusing to read. And when I say rather confusing, I mean I did not understand it at all – it was as if I was reading another language. I needed someone or some way to demystify the law of assumption into words I could understand.

In time, I started to understand it and not only understand it but started to see it play out in my own life. As I began to look for the truth in the world around me, I could not help but see law of assumptions principles in everything I did and in every experience I had. It was as if there was this inner desire in me that wanted me to see how it all works and I kept returning to Neville’s works until they made sense. 

I am writing today in hopes that I can share these principles in a way that helps you make sense of a piece you may have felt alluded you for some time or gives you a better understanding so that you can improve your life. That was what I wanted, to understand the law of assumption so I could use the principles for my life.

Today I’d like to start with Your Faith is Your Fortune. This book started as one of my least favorites of his but has quickly moved up to be one I keep returning to. Although, even in just reading the first chapter today I was reminded why I found his content a bit confusing when I first got started. 

If you’d like to read for yourself, you can find the full content here.

The book starts with, “In the beginning was the unconditioned awareness of being, and the unconditioned awareness of being became conditioned by imagining itself to be something, and the unconditioned awareness of being became that which it had imagined itself to be; so did creation begin.”

To understand this more and see how this ties into you improving your own life, everything started with just knowing that you are. You are here, you are a being, you are aware of being and there is nothing conditioned or assigned to that being. You have not yet assigned the rest of the I am, you have not assigned the condition or belief to the I am. You just are. Which is a beautiful place to be, everything you could ever imagine is available to you. 

To put it simply, creation is you conditioning who you have decided you actually are. It is completing the sentence of I am. 

And not just what you say outloud but what you actually believe and feel true of yourself.

 

Your I am = your state = your identity.

 I AM that I AM.

Neville Goddard

This is the meaning of I am that I am. You are what you believe you are, you are the sum of your state and your identity.

I have also published a podcast on this topic.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5k0o0VGGAAoedsOrq1f277?si=PoXa4YuTQR-kYtFwqaWSMw

Letting go for your dream life

Have you ever been told that in order to have what you want, you need to let go? I can tell you that when I first heard this, I was confused. How do I let go of something I want but also make it not feel so forced so that I am not actually letting go….?

In time, I have learned what letting go really means and how to use it in my day-to-day life. And in the podcast episode turned blog written below, I am going to share it all with you. I will talk about how letting go actually helps you expand into your future self, into the ideal self that you want to be.

Before we dive in, I want to assure you that figuring out this part truly helped me shift into such a peaceful and open state of being. 

Once I was able to learn how to not only let go of the things that did not serve me, the feelings that did not serve me, but also let go of the hold and control that I was attempting to have over everything that I wanted to have happen in my own life my entire world shifted and I began to receive things that had been blocked before. 

I firmly believe that we are all masters of our own fate, and that no matter where we’re starting from, we can actually get to where we want to be.

We can use our minds, the focus that we’re giving, the attention that we’re giving, and the way that we’re spending our time to really direct our lives so that we can live a life that we enjoy, and we can have the things that we want.

In the podcast I go over four areas for change and this blog posts starts with the first one, releasing the need for control. 

But first, you want to know what you want. This step is identifying the outcome you are seeking so you know where to place your attention. I have a podcast episode on this topic you can listen to here and also have a free guide to help you identify what it is you want.  

Now, let’s get into how you actually let go. 

Letting go of control

If you are anything like me, you may struggle with thinking about HOW something will come to you instead of the end outcome. Part of letting go is learning how to focus on the end solution instead of the how.

Instead, you will learn how to let go of the need to control and set an intention that is then given the space to work out for your best outcome. Once you make your intention you’re going to release it, and you do that by adding joy and gratitude into your day. 

It can actually be a very simple process.

I want you to start thinking of your thoughts and attention as an algorithm.

I can tell the algorithm what I enjoy to watch, like on TikTok or Instagram, I can say what I enjoy to watch by my attention.

How long I stay on the video, how much I interact with that video.

That then is telling the algorithm, yes, she enjoys this.

The things that I don’t pay attention to, they still show up in my feed, right?

If I’m scrolling through TikTok, I still will get content I have no interest in. 

That’s how you can think about your thoughts.

You don’t have to hold onto the thoughts and feelings you don’t want to entertain. You can let it go the same way that you would let go of a TikTok video that showed up in your feed that has nothing to do with you, is not aligned with the stuff that you want to watch, and is not aligned with how you want to spend your time.

You’re always training your mind to pay attention to what you actually want through your own algorithm.

Each morning and evening, you can set an intention for yourself and the life you want. Try to really focus on how you want to feel, how would it feel if you had your desired outcome? 

Then you will let go by focusing on things in life you enjoy. I call these daily joys, here is a blog post on how to get started with daily joys.

In order to change your life, you must change your habits and routines. 

I recommend that you spend time outside every single day, that you do some sort of physical activity every single day, and that you pick up some sort of new hobby. 

To recap:

  • Start paying attention to your thoughts, what are you telling your life algorithm you want more of?
  • Set an intention for yourself that is aligned to how you want to feel. 
  • Add daily joys to your day. 
  • Get outside, get some exercise, and find a new hobby you love. 

These simple shifts will have an immense effect on your life. 

You can change your life

Below I outlined the way I have found has worked brilliantly for me to become the person I want to be. I want you to understand that you can change your life. You can teach yourself how to become the person you want to be with daily focus, the more you focus and work towards your goal, the more you change your life.

I am going to try to keep this somewhat short so it remains digestible. And hopefully as actionable steps you can start taking today.

First, decide what you want. Seems simple but sometimes isn’t so I used some questions to help me get there.

  1. If you knew you only had one year left to live, what would you stop doing?
  2. If you knew you only had one year left to live, what would you start doing?
  3. How do you want to feel when you go to bed tonight?

For example, although I recommend you go deeper than this: I would stop spending 6 hours of my day scrolling my phone. I would start taking better care of myself and spend more time with my family. I want to feel relaxed and content when I go to bed.

Next, outline if you had your wish fulfilled what would your day look like. How would you spend your morning? How would you talk to yourself? What would you not do? What would you do? And you can keep it simple but what from those questions would fit into your ideal life? If you want to change your life, you have to know what it is you want to change to.

For example: I am completely financially secure so I wake up exciting for the day, I spend time in the morning reading, doing a workout, and working on writing my book. I take care of myself by going outside, enjoying time with family, and working on my hobbies.

So then, start asking yourself during the day if what you are currently doing is aligned to this person and this life you want.

For example: You want love in your life and have outlined a loved person would take a daily shower so they smell oh so nice for their partner and would be relaxed in the day and also enjoys to read, go to the gym, and play pickleball and would not check a certain persons IG 8 times a day to see if they are dating someone….hopefully this is starting to piece together.

So, if you find yourself about to go social snoop on someone ask if that is aligned to the person you want to be? If not, what can you do that is? AND keep it internal, don’t create conflict for yourself.

An example of creating some conflict is you want wealth. That does not equal going and maxing out your credit card because that would be creating conflict. You externally may repeat, ‘All is fine, I have plenty of money’ but internally are screaming, ‘If this doesn’t work I have NO IDEA how I will pay this off’ Internal wins, so instead find other ways to confirm wealth to yourself.

The last for this post is to start adding joy to your day. Make a list of things you like to do – like drinking a cup of coffee, taking a walk outside, enjoying a bubble bath, playing softball, etc. Then decide each day you will add 1-5 (however many you want) to your day and pay attention to your feelings while doing them. Pay attention to how it physically feels, how do you emotionally feel, just focus on that moment – even for 20 seconds, but really be there with yourself. I love using that first cup of coffee for this because I can focus on the warmth of it in my hands and as I drink it. This will create natural feelings of gratitude and contentment.

Don’t forget, you can change your life, and it can be very sustainable and an enjoyable process. Visit my YouTube channel if you would like to watch my series on changing your life.

Change your life in 30 days

Do you want to change your life in 30 days?

I am sure we have all noticed that once we hit a seemingly rock bottom, or even just get to the point of feeling fed up and done, we often want to see change quickly. Of course, making sustainable changes that improve your life is the creme ala creme of these changes we seek. 

So then the question becomes, how do I change my life in 30 days (or less)? Remarkably, the answer is very simple. So simple a lot of people don’t want to do it because they think it is too simple. 

As humans, we operate from habits and these habits tell us who we are, what our identity or state is, and then that state/identity shapes the behaviors and habits we continue. The key to changing your life is to change those habits and the key to changing habits is to start smaller than you would have ever imagined. 

Change your life in 30 days.

If you want to change your life in 30 days, the below steps are the simplest of habit and routine changes you can make to your day that will result in massive shifts in the identity you hold and the state you operate from.

Become aware.

Become aware of the habits you maintain and get a clear idea of what your desired outcome is. I have a free guide and journal that outlines this process as well. You can get the guide here and the journal here. Otherwise, a piece of paper will work just fine for this process. 

You are going to ask yourself a few questions to get started either in the journal or on a sheet of paper:

  • If you knew without a doubt you had one year left to live, what would you start doing?
  • What would you stop doing? 
  • How do you want to feel when you go to bed at night?

These questions will guide you to what type of life you are looking to live and once you know how you want to feel when you go to bed you can ask yourself throughout the day, does the current routine I am in align with how I want to feel when I go to bed?

If at the moment you check in with yourself you find that no, the activity you are currently doing is not aligned with how you want to feel, change it. Go do something else. This same shift is training your brain to find a new habit cycle rather than fall into this habit that is aligned with your old ways of thinking. 

Let me take a moment to share a small review of a habit cycle. Any habit starts with a cue, this is the trigger for your mind that it is time to do a routine, the end of routine is providing some form of a reward and so you start to build a pathway to keep doing this routine.

Build a morning mantra into your day.

Stop for a moment and consider what your first thoughts are each morning. 

When we wake up we fall into a habit cue, the cue is that we woke up! So what now? Pay attention for the next few days to your morning habits. What is your first thought? What is the first thing you grab? How do you spend the first 10 minutes, 30 minutes, hour of your day? I don’t believe you need a 30-step-must-wake-up-at-5am morning routine but we ALL have a routine. And that routine can be used to start your day off on the right foot – the foot that is aligned to the lifestyle you want. 

After you have become aware of the way you are spending your morning, make a small routine change by changing the first thought/affirmation you have in the morning. Start your day by saying, “Today is an amazing day and I am so thankful I get to live it!” or something along those lines. You can set up a cue reminder for yourself by adding this to a sticky note to your phone or writing a note on your bathroom mirror.

Add and pay attention to daily joys.

Add joy to your day and start paying attention to the joy you already have. 

I have a full blog post on this topic. But an overview is to write a list of things you enjoy doing – some can be big, most will likely be smaller. 

Think of things like taking a bubble bath, swinging at the park, playing baseball, smelling fresh roses, etc.

From there choose 1-5 of these things you will add into your day and also pay attention in the moments you do them. I even have things like brush my teeth on my list because I like when my mouth feels fresh, so I focus on the feelings of brushing of my teeth and why I do it. These simple moments start to naturally build gratitude into your life.

So there you have it, if you want to change your life in 30 days those the simple things you can add to your life that will create immense change and quickly. If you prefer to listen or would also like to check out my podcast episode on this very topic, you can find it here.

I will leave you with the Neville Goddard quote,
“You rise to a higher level of consciousness by taking your attention away from your present limitations and placing it upon that which you desire to be.”

Doing these things listed here will remove your attention from your present limitations.

Mindset tips of the week

Where I started.

I am sharing my mindset tips because I remember waking up multiple times per week nearly in a panic, I would stay in bed and just run through all things I was stressed about for the first 30 minutes or so of every day. It was exhausting, it was stressful, and it was completely unnecessary.

I didn’t realize that at the time though, I just knew then that these thoughts would wake me up nearly every day. My mind would be a rush of things I had forgotten to do, what bills were coming up, and stressing about my work environment and what I would face that day from my job.

My mindset was terrible but I didn’t know it, I was just going through the cycle of life, allowing my focus on external events to affect the way I felt internally. Have I mentioned how freaking exhausting it was?

At some point I stumbled upon the movie, The Secret, and it kicked off the next few years of improving my life by using my mindset. Goodness, that had to be about 7 years ago and there have been some bumps in the road along the way but I have learned so much, I feel SO much better, and my life has greatly improved. And I mean GREATLY improved. The mindset tips I share below were just the starting point of the amazing changes I made in my life but I find these to be a sustainable way to start.

So, now it is my mission to take what I have learned and share it with as many people as possible in the hope you will also find a happier, more fulfilled life, and much better sleep.

Mindset Tips

Although there are many ways you can shift your mindset, I found the mindset tips below were extremely life altering for me and others I have worked with. Start to add these to your day and see the changes start to unfold.

  • Add daily joys to your day! If you are not familiar with this, it is creating a list of things you enjoy to do and actually doing them. You can also listen to my podcast episode on daily joys.
  • Speak kindly to yourself. Make an effort to say something kind to yourself at least three times per day.
  • Start a meditation practice. There are multiple guided meditations on YouTube and starting with even 5 minutes per day can have great benefits on your mental wellbeing.
  • Spend more time outside!
  • Optimize your evening for a better tomorrow! If you want to start your day off on the right foot it really begins the night before. I have a podcast episode completely dedicated to this topic.
  • Start your morning right.

This is a great list to get you started and remember when making a new habit for yourself, start small. Pick one or two things you can start doing in your day to improve your mindset and get on the path to living a life you love.

Life is your perception

Throughout my journey of the last few years, I have come to realize a simple truth – life is truly the perception you have of it. A friend of mine once told me that all throughout life we are only communicating with ourselves.

After I let my mind simmer down from the actual thought of this, I realized how much truth was in that statement. I will never fully know what you mean – no matter if I am reading a text from you, a book you wrote, or listening to you speak. Everything I hear passes through my life filter. I chose which parts are most meaningful, what your tone means, and most of the time what you actually said.

Even as you read this now, you are taking my words and adding a tone to them, you are assigning the meaning. And it is very likely, like 99.9% likely, that it does not perfectly match my intention or how the words sound in my head. Everything in life, and I mean everything, passes through your personal filter. You assign the meaning based on past experiences you have had.

As your state changes, so do your perceptions. As you have more life experiences, you will have a shift in perception. And you can chose to start to shift your perception.

I recently had a podcast episode that spoke to a study conducted by Richard Wiseman, that was done with people who self-identified as lucky and ones that self-identified as unlucky. The study showed that people who self-identify as unlucky are actually less likely to see opportunity even when it presented directly in front of them very clearly. So maybe it isn’t that you aren’t getting the same opportunity for success but are instead just unable to see the opportunity when it is presented.

One of the quickest ways I have found to gently shift my perception to more positive aspects of life is to add daily joys into my everyday life. I have a blog post that outlines how to get started.

Always remember, each day presents you with choices, and even in times when it feels like you have none, you can still make the smallest choice possible to show up for yourself.

How adding small joys improves your life.

As I continue to publish podcast episodes, I have noticed there is a lot of excitement that goes into these and I am enjoying sharing so much of what has helped me on my journey. Last week I again went over why creating a list of joys can be so beneficial to your wellbeing, that this very simple act of starting small and building can have a domino effect on your life. When you are struggling or just aren’t feeling quite like you know yourself and are doing things for yourself, to fuel your happiness, to achieve your joy, to power your life, it can be difficult to sustain big changes. It becomes very easy to fall back into the old habits when you don’t first learn how to take the small steps to building new habits, both mental and physical habits. And quite simply, you can improve your life by adding small joys and that is a huge win.

What I found was that by stepping back and deciding to make small changes, I was more likely to continue what I had started and getting started was as easy as writing out things I enjoyed and then adding those things to my day. I often start my day with coffee in hand, sitting outside, getting some sunlight, and reading a book – this is not how my days used to start, but now I have this beautiful moment to start my day and it tends to follow me the rest of my day.

Soon this beautiful thing happens, I notice more lovely moments in my day. I am more open to truly and actually stopping to smell the roses, I notice if I see a cool cloud that looks like a turtle, I become more focused on the way a song makes me feel and it carries to how I treat and talk to myself. I am more forgiving of myself, I am more curious about the way I behave and why certain things make me feel a certain way, and I have naturally stopped condemning myself for how I feel. There was actually a study done recently that said it is really detrimental for you to affect and judge your emotional reactions as negative or wrong. Hear me out, you get to feel what you feel, you are not wrong for feeling something – you do have a choice what you do with it from there, how long you dwell there, and if it is a way you don’t want to react you do have the responsibility to be more aware and work on yourself. This simple act though of adding and paying attention to the small joys in your day-to-day life starts to shift where you focus and improve your mood.

Once you start working on your list of small joys I believe you will see this kindness towards yourself happen much more naturally and you will begin to feel lighter but in the meantime start to reframe your thinking by leaning into your so-call negative emotions. Ask questions to yourself, lean into understanding you, become much more curious about who you are and why you behave the ways you do.

Check out my podcast!

Additional blog posts

Demystify Law of Assumption: Your Faith is Your Fortune
Neville Goddard I stumbled onto Neville Goddard’s content and was …
Letting go for your dream life
Have you ever been told that in order to have …
You can change your life
Below I outlined the way I have found has worked …
Change your life in 30 days
Do you want to change your life in 30 days? …
Mindset tips of the week
Where I started. I am sharing my mindset tips because …
Life is your perception
Throughout my journey of the last few years, I have …
Joy when you are struggling
I have had some emotional happenings in my life and …
Just start
This post will likely be a little shorter than usual, …
Releasing Judgement
I’d like to start with a quick recap of what …
Speak kindly to yourself.
Have you ever stopped to pay attention to the way …
How to get started: add simple joys to your day.
Getting started is often the hardest part. If you are …

Joy when you are struggling

I have had some emotional happenings in my life and when I came here and noticed I have not posted in over two weeks I felt frustrated with myself. But, I am doing for me what I recommend for everyone and what I do for others — giving forgiveness and grace. Life sometimes can be overwhelming and things can become a lot to keep up with and sometimes we will slip, that is ok. It is ok to feel down and upset, it is ok to be frustrated, it is ok to be a human and feel what you need to feel. The key is deciding how long you will dwell there, to make small daily choices for you and to make sure you are taking care of yourself.

My brother recently shared with me that while he understood doing the list of joys, he couldn’t think of what brought him joy, he had found himself so caught in the darkness that he could not see the joy all around him, and this is a habit – one you should not feel ashamed of, or be talked down to about, or one you have to remain in. My brother began with small steps to improve his life, he knew he could no longer continue the way he was and he wanted change, he wanted God in his life even if he did not know it. It may not be clear all the times but God is in everything, there is nothing in this world that is not God. And I do not judge you if you call it life source, or the universe, or Mother Earth or any other name. I do not care what beliefs you have and your personal relationship with God, I am here to seek forgiveness for all and that is not obtained because you believe in the same version of God that I do.

I did care deeply that my brother was hurting and I have learned from a dear friend of mine, Sara Waters (great book, great TikTok, great person!) that each of us has parts to us and sometimes those parts are louder than others and sometimes they can be scary but they are doing their best to protect us. Because of this, I was able to remain mostly calm when faced with the truth of how deeply he was hurting and I am so beyond thankful for this. Not only did allow me some peace to understand that this is an opportunity to become curious about why he felt this way, what are steps in his life that can start small to change this, and what does he need to move forward. He quickly identified his kids are a clear joy, every day, in the smallest and biggest of ways, and has said they are his reason but beyond that was having a hard time seeing through the fog.

Until this morning when an honest miracle happened. He had moment after moment this morning of clarity and epiphanies, with the biggest coming from vocally calling out to God and being answered. In his moment of need, his car reset and a religious music station came on, this is not a station he listens to or a station that has played in the car before when it started and the song playing told him to bring Him his tears, bring Him his pain, bring it all to Him because he is more powerful than anything here on earth. It was a remarkable and needed moment.

You may or may not have such a moment in life, you may find your peace and your joy in other ways but trust you will find them. Even if you have to start in the smallest of ways or ask a loved one what they think you find joy in, it is available to you. In your darkness, there can be light.

My brother may have had this miracle moment but before that he told me he decided to find his joys by starting with what he didn’t like and work his way from there. He began to see joy in some of the most ‘simple’ of things that life has to offer: watching sports, taking a morning walk, enjoying his coffee outside off his phone, the cool morning air, and he also listed his friendship with me and that is now added to my list of joys — seeing that text message with that listed.

He opened my eyes to understanding that seeing joy in life is not always easy and sometimes you may need some extra help to figure out how to find some joy. Please just be kind to yourself, start small, contact someone who cares about and knows you and ask them what you enjoy to get going and once you do, you may be surprised how much you notice these small joys (and some big ones!)

I do have a recent podcast on this topic if you’d like to take a listen. And if video is more your style, I do shorter videos on these topics over on my YouTube channel.

Until next time, I wish you joy – no matter how small – in your day.

Just start

This post will likely be a little shorter than usual, as I am getting going and all the ideas are pouring into my head I am finding I need to step back and do some better planning. I have so much I want to share, I have so much that has helped me in ways I never imagined even possible and need to find a way to get it all out onto paper, or the web or in a video in a way that is easy to follow and gives all of you the best information.

That said, I did want to share some exciting news. The first being that I am launching a podcast that I expect to have out next week and I will share far and wide once I do. I also have a YouTube channel up and running as of three whole days ago – please go check it out and if it seems like something you are interested in, subscribe! My YouTube channel: Unleashing Happiness. And last but not least, I am working on my Instagram channel, you can find that here. All of these are a work in progress, but so I am so here we go.

The most amazing things have been happening to me and they all stem from just saying eff it and making small daily changes. I really had to just go for it and decide this was something I want to do, I have something to say that I really believe in, and I have to stop at some point in my life being so concerned that someone may think what I am doing is stupid. I do plenty of really stupid things, I know this – launching my own business, helping people, creating content – isn’t one of them.

I am really just figuring it out and I am sure I will make mistakes on the way but I had to get started. I had to do this for myself.

I started with the list of joys, I wanted more happiness and sheer in my everyday and I decided to start there and when I say that small change to my day, that small shift in my mindset has created a domino affect for me, I may it on the largest scale of the phrase.

My advice to just start. Decide on a small habit you will add to your day; that can be adding joy like what I recommend, taking a morning walk, making the bed, working out for 15 minutes, whatever it is for you just start. And start small, I promise the small habit changes are more sustainable and led to bigger things you won’t even notice until you are just doing them daily.

Releasing Judgement

I’d like to start with a quick recap of what has been shared so far in my other blog posts –

A quick win way to uplift your spirits is by adding joy into your everyday life. This can be done by writing out a list of things you enjoy doing and each day adding some of those joys into what you do. It is most beneficial if you take the time to really notice your enjoyment of these activities. You can read more about adding joy to your day in post titled, Day 1

Next, start being aware of the way you talk to yourself. Are you kind and uplifting or often speaking negative about yourself? Once you are aware of the ways you speak to yourself, start asking why you say those things about you and to you. And then, start saying nice things to yourself in the mirror and throughout the day. Check out my blog post called, speak kindly to yourself , to read more on this.

Ok, so now that we are all caught up let’s move onto my next tidbit to share – judging others. I am really focusing on the judging we do inside our own heads.

It can come out in many different forms: commenting something rude about someone’s outfit, thinking someone is wearing too much make-up/not enough make-up, making fun of someone for them going out on a limb and trying something new, thinking the hobby they enjoy is stupid, or rolling your internal eyes because they asked something dumb in a meeting. It can also manifest itself by making you believe that everyone is judging you, or giving you dirty looks, or talking about you behind your back.

First, what someone else enjoys doing, likes to wear, feels comfortable in is not about me in any possible way. I do not think a single person in this world other than myself wakes up and considers me before themselves in what they should wear. Even my husband, while he may want to wear something he knows I like, it is still about what he feels best in. It is still all about him first, which is how it should be.

What is about me is my need to cast judgement or be rude about them or their choices inside my own head. Once I became aware of how I was speaking to myself I started to become much more aware of the sometimes small, sometimes large judgements I would cast towards others. This is a reflection only of my own character and more often than I still care to admit, my own insecurities.

Now, I do joke around a lot; I have a dry and rather sarcastic sense of humor and I joke about myself and others quite often but there is a difference between my making jokes and the judgmental thoughts. I am pretty sure when you are honest with yourself you can also differentiate between all-in-actual-good-fun joking and being petty and mean, even if it stays in our own minds.

Let me take a bit of a left turn, but stay with me, it will all come around. I firmly believe humans are selfish, every single one of us in some way is selfish and I am willing to bet most people, when being totally honest, want to make a change in life to benefit themselves. You want to feel better, to look better, to be happier, to improve relationships…. whatever it is, at the core it is about you. And I think that is how it should be.

Now before everyone gets up in arms, I am using selfish slightly against its actual definition and want to know why? Because the English language doesn’t have a word for filling your cup, making sure you take care of you, and putting yourself first but we do talk all the time about making sure you do care for yourself, that you can’t pour from an empty cup, etc. But yet, when writing this I tried to find a word that is not negative in meaning like selfish is and the only ones I can find were things like: self-involved, smug, narcissistic, self-absorbed, and the list goes on and on. But yet, I can’t give enough to others if I have nothing for myself. I freaking adore my family, my kids are my world and I love them about as hard as any mom you could ever find. I have an amazing relationship with them and I am pretty sure they adore me back; they are my biggest cheerleaders and treat me amazingly and me taking care of me, wanting to feel my best, being a bit selfish to make sure I take care of my mind, body, and soul is not negative, it is quite positive. As a mother, I have always felt the expectation that is put on me is to be selfless when it comes to my family, to completely sacrifice all of me for them and then what? I would end up as a shell of a person brimming with resentment, anger, and sadness. So, I believe in being selfish, only because I don’t have any other word to use for it. And you should learn to be a bit selfish too. Maybe you read my suggestion to add moments of joy to your day and don’t see when or how you could ever find the time and the time is there, make the time for you, your family will actually be so much better because of it. There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself.

(side note: if there is a word for this and my English language and Google skills are just remarkably poor, please let me know in the comments. All about growth, people! Even in my vocabulary.)

So, that said, here’s a secret to life I believe wholeheartedly, what is going on in the inside is mirrored right back to you by the world. Your perceptions of life and reality are all framed by your beliefs and how you are treating yourself and others inside that wonderful mind of yours. What you think you are doing secretly inside your own head, these thoughts and feelings you are releasing out around you do affect your world.

Second, I learned that people aren’t overly concerned with what I do or what I wear, and the ones that are silently (or not silently…) judging me are dealing with their own inner stuff and it has nothing to do with me. It is also not my business what someone else thinks of me. This is a very freeing concept because my world is shaped by my perceptions and if I walk out of the house feeling like a million bucks, I look fantastic and am shining bright like a damn diamond….I don’t give a flying hoot what Suzie down the block thinks of me. Because here is the next secret: the better you feel about yourself, the nicer you speak about you to you, the nicer all the thoughts inside your head become. The moment you focus on you, bettering you, improving you, healing you is the moment that shifts in that beautiful brain of yours starts to see others in a much more positive light.

I still have these thoughts; I still see something or am having a crappy day and will catch these thoughts but it is nothing more than another opportunity to become more curious about myself. Why is this popping up? Is this person doing anything that actually affects me or my life? 99% of the time that I ask myself these questions I immediately notice something really nice about the person, it is like my brain gave myself a little hand slap and now I need to make it up. But once one lovely thought comes in about someone I automatically feel more at peace and easily move on with my day. We are striving for positive change and growth, not perfectionism and we certainly will not speak poorly to ourselves for a slip of the mind.

The message from my blog on speaking kind to yourself is true here as well – we can only change something once we have become aware of it. So, pat yourself on the back when you become aware of things about yourself you would like to change, wanting to be a better person and/or changing habits you have is a commendable trait and you should feel good about it.

Until next time, I wish you the best